Who's Laughing

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From the Post...
Pickleball: While it might not equal the disruption being experienced in Ottawa due to the truck convoy, cities in British Columbia are facing some upheaval of their own: dastardly pickleballers, who bat a perforated plastic ball back and forth with racquets in a game that resembles tennis, but is easier on aging joints. “It’s like gunshots,” complains one woman who lives near a heavily used court. Between trying to keep sound-sensitive neighbours happy and providing places for the growing number of participants to play, city administrators have their hands full.

 

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Olympian humour from the National Post...
AND THEY'RE OFF
We don't mean "they're off" as in, "they're cancelled." We can see now how that might be ambiguous, but it's too late for boycotts. We mean the games have begun, even if the Opening Ceremony doesn't happen until Friday. Mixed-doubles curling, women's hockey, and geo-political arm-twisting are among the sports that get a head start in Beijing. Watch this space for the next two-plus weeks, as we keep you up to date with all the biggest developments. If our words start to look like this ... qwepo vinpow itjnv3 ... then you'll know we stayed up all night to watch the events live in order to better inform you, so please have forgiveness in your hearts.
And...

Fabrice Coffrini / AFP via Getty Images
Here's where athletes will be competing in alpine events at the Beijing Winter Games, where organizers are relying heavily on the theory that as long as you have enough snow to get one skier at a time down a mountain, that's all you really need in order to justify calling it the "National Alpine Skiing Centre."

 

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This one’s a gem​

A Hollywood hostess, giving instructions to a new maid just before a party, cautioned: “Now remember, Marie, when you serve my guests, don’t wear any jewelry.”

“I haven’t anything valuable, madam,” answered the maid. “But thanks for the warning just the same.”

—Peggy McEvoy

 

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

 

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From the Post...

Sputnik / AFP via Getty Images
Overheard, in our imagination:
French President Emmanuel Macron: Are we meeting at this comically long table to ensure safety from COVID-19?
Russian President Vladimir Putin: No. I'm trying to intimidate you, like a Bond villain. Also, I couldn't figure out how to remove the leaf.

 

[EdmTrekker]

That picture shows how moronic Putin is.

 

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Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesús is watching you." He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesús is watching you." In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesús is watching me" The parrot replied, "Yes." Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?" The parrot said, "Clarence." The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús."

 

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Ben Brewer / Reuters
The fine folks in Shakopee, Minnesota, call this extreme horse skijoring, in which the four-legged beauties supply the speed and, occasionally, the obstacles.

 

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I want to coin the word "Boonyat" -- it is a form of subjective endearment that has several mild connotations. Here are some usage examples: If someone refers to anecdotal evidence to support an argument and ignores all other factors, they are a Boonyat. If someone professes to have superior knowledge on a subject but are clearly out of their depth, they are a Boonyat. If someone continues to argue a point when they have clearly been proven wrong, they are a Boonyat. The word is intended to be non-gender specific and can be applied to things as well as people -- e.g. this design effort is clearly representative of Boonyats-ville.

 

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Three engineers were discussing who could have been the architect of the human body.​

The first said, "It definitely was a Mechanical Engineer, look at all the joints."

The second said, "Nah dude, it was an Electrical Engineer, look at all the electrical connections from the brain."

The third said, "Nope, only a Civil Engineer will run piping carrying sanitation waste right next to a recreational area."

 

[kcantor]

I want to coin the word "Boonyat" -- it is a form of subjective endearment that has several mild connotations. Here are some usage examples: If someone refers to anecdotal evidence to support an argument and ignores all other factors, they are a Boonyat. If someone professes to have superior knowledge on a subject but are clearly out of their depth, they are a Boonyat. If someone continues to argue a point when they have clearly been proven wrong, they are a Boonyat. The word is intended to be non-gender specific and can be applied to things as well as people -- e.g. this design effort is clearly representative of Boonyats-ville.

i always thought the expression was bunyak or buniak and it was more a mild pejorative than one of endearment. i remember our oldest paraphrasing a car commercial when he was a toddler by saying “you got it buniak” and giggling whenever it aired.

 

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Monkey hear, monkey do...

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